For Parents
Cannabis – Questions and Answers

Cannabis is a hemp plant. It goes by a lot of different names, including marijuana, weed, hash, bud, chronic, pot, reefer, weed/hash oil, etc.

People use cannabis, largely, because of the mind altering effects of a substance in the plant called THC (Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol). When someone smokes (or eats) cannabis, THC causes the brain to release dopamine, which is a ‘feel good’ chemical produced in our brain. THC tricks the mind into releasing this natural chemical that the brain normally releases with healthy activity like exercise, eating good tasting food, etc. THC in cannabis tells the brain to ‘feel good’ and the brain responds by releasing dopamine in higher levels than it usually would if you were doing healthy activities.

There are a number of different reasons why teens are using cannabis:

• Friend group is using/desire to fit in – one of the most common reasons teens use cannabis is because their friend group starts using it. To a teen, fitting in can be one of the most important things in the world. If the group they hang out with are using cannabis, it will be almost impossible for your teen to say no when offered to use by a friend.
• Believing the myth ‘it’s just a plant’ – Many young people (and adults) are under the impression that cannabis is “just a plant”, meaning they believe it cannot harm them and it is not addictive. Both of these beliefs are false.
• To deal with the normal stresses of being a teenager – Many teens use because it allows them to deal with the normal stress and pressure that goes along with the natural process of the brain learning to process emotion and develop. Unfortunately, using cannabis can stunt this normal process of brain development.
• Trauma – many young people who have experienced trauma (physical, emotional or sexual abuse) are more likely to turn to drugs as a way of numbing this terrible experiences.
• Genetic factors and mental illness – Teens in a family with a history of addiction are 50% more likely to abuse substances such as cannabis. Further, teens who suffer from psychiatric disorders (depression, ADHD, schizophrenia) or who come from a family where such disorders are common are at an increased risk of carrying out substance abuse.
• Boredom and loneliness – Kids who do not have structured activities or positive engagement with their own families are at greater risk of using drugs.

• Cannabis use is becoming more and more common amongst teens. The rate of teen consumption is on the rise annually. In recent years, approximately 70,000 students in grades 7-12 reported using this drug.
• While the number of teens using cannabis is growing, the age of first using cannabis is getting younger. Ages 12-13 are now commonly the first time young people use cannabis. ¹

• The term ‘soft drugs’ is inaccurately used to describe cannabis. With respect to its impact on adolescents, this term is a myth. The devastating impacts this drug can have on teens makes it clear that cannabis is not a ‘soft’ drug.

• Risk of addiction/dependence – Teens who use cannabis or alcohol are at a much greater risk of developing long term drug or alcohol dependence as an adult. Due to differences in how these substances are absorbed and metabolized, youth can experience more pleasurable effects than adults, such as increased sociability and desire to engage in risky behaviours. This in turn puts youth at an increased risk of continuing to use these substances to deal with the stresses/strains of being a teenager, which can create on ongoing cycle of dependence.
• Risk of hospitalization – Cannabis is the leading cause of hospitalizations for youth in Canada. As of 2017-2018, 40% of all youth emergency room visits/hospitalizations were related to cannabis use ².
• Stunting/slowing of emotional development –  It is well established by scientific research that teens’ brains are more vulnerable than adults to the harmful effects of cannabis. Use of this drug by teens often results in impaired brain development, and stunting/slowing of emotional functions ³  . In other words, a teen who starts regularly using cannabis at age 13 will, at age 18, be relying on the emotional skills of a 13 year old to get through life (13 being the age they started cannabis use).
• Poor school performance – Teen cannabis use negatively impacts school performance. Generally, students who use cannabis have much worse outcomes for education than those who do not use the drug ⁴.
• Increased risk for short and long term mental health issues – There is a strong correlation between regular teen cannabis use and long-term mental health issues, including symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia ⁵. Further, adolescents who use cannabis are at increased risk of developing depression and suicidal behaviour into young adulthood ⁶.
• Risk of death or injury in car accidents – Drivers under the influence of cannabis are often the cause of fatal car accidents. This puts both drivers, passengers and everyone who shares the road at increased risk of harm.

• Cannabis, like any drug that alters mood, can be addictive. The risks of addiction are higher for adolescents than adults. This is largely due to the fact that the earlier stage of brain development in teens makes them more susceptible, generally, to addiction to substances than an adult.
• The addictive nature of cannabis can be seen by looking at the rates of addiction for those who use it. 1 out of 10 people who use cannabis will develop a cannabis addiction. Females are even more prone than males to cannabis addiction, even though there are more males dependent on cannabis generally than females ⁷ .
• The rates of potential addiction are higher for teens than adults. 16% of teens who try cannabis will likely become addicted to it at some point in their lifetime  ⁸ .

• Yes, marijuana can be a gateway drug for many teens. It can lead to using other drugs in the future, and teens who use cannabis increase their likelihood of developing a substance use disorder generally. But this is not limited to marijuana. Any drug that artificially increases reward pathways in a teen’s brain increases the risk of using different drugs or drugs/alcohol generally in the future. In short, teens by their biological nature are prone to seek out feeling good in an impulsive way, and cannabis/alcohol tell their brain an easy solution has been found to feel good instantly. This in turn can lead to dependence and seeking out other drugs to feel good ⁹ .

• There are no guaranteed ways parents can prevent their kids from using cannabis or any other drug. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions and all the right tools, kids will sometimes make unhealthy choices. This said, there are many things parents can do to minimize the risks their kids will use cannabis. Parents who educate their kids about the harms of drug use have a better chance their kids will not use drugs. It is not a foregone conclusion our kids will smoke cannabis, and it is well worth the effort to take steps to prevent it or stop it in the early stages.

How do we talk to our kids about drugs? There is no guaranteed way of success to talk to your kids about drugs. But you likely cannot lecture them away from the behaviour. As most parents know, teens often recoil and shut down their listening if they feel they are getting a moralizing lecture.

A better way to approach the issue of substance use with your kids is through active listening. This is a type of listening where you, the parent, make it clear you are hearing what your child is saying, and you are making efforts to understand what they believe to be true. Acknowledging their opinion and making them feel heard and part of the conversation will likely get you further than being angry and moralizing about the dangers of drugs.

Be curious, ask questions, repeat back their answers, that allow them to inform you what they believe about substance use before you convey the truth or what you believe:

Parent: I know some of your friends are taking edibles (or smoking cannabis). What do you think about them using cannabis?

Child: Well, I don’t know, they seem to be having fun, but they act a bit weird, it was pretty funny, they couldn’t remember things or do simple stuff.

Parent: Why do you think the cannabis makes them feel that way? What do you think it’s doing to their brain and body to make them act like that?

Child: I don’t know, I think it just makes them act silly.

Parent: Why don’t we look up on the internet together what cannabis is doing to someone’s brain when they are stoned.

Also, if our own child (or a friend) is using drugs, it is important as parents for us to not harshly criticize the person (your teen or the friend) for using drugs, but instead to show your issue is with the behaviour. Getting angry and calling your child names (moron, stupid) for using drugs may just lead to the behaviour getting reinforced. Instead, focusing on why the behaviour is not tolerated or accepted helps kids see the behaviour as wrong, not themselves personally as ‘bad’ for doing it ¹⁰.

If you try to talk to your teen about cannabis your teen will likely start testing your knowledge with questions. If you do not know the facts, it will not take your child long to realize you are on shaky foundations. Your ability to convey the seriousness of these issues will be much greater if you know the facts about cannabis in advance of any conversations (i.e. the facts about why cannabis is harmful and potentially addictive for teens). The facts work much better than trying to scare them into stopping with moral lectures ¹¹. 

“It’s just weed mom!” is a common response by kids to parents who express concerns over cannabis use. This stems from a widely accepted myth that cannabis is just a plant and is harmless. This false belief in kids (and many adults) has come from legalization and arguments (often false) by proponents of many interests who wanted the drug legalized. Kids often will cite legalization as the reason for their belief that cannabis is harmless.

At this point, arguments about legalization are likely irrelevant. The focus of a message to your child from a young age should be on the evidence-based harms of the drug and what it actually does to people’s brains, and in particular, to adolescent brains. As Rand Teed notes, “the brain does not differentiate between legal and illegal” ¹².

Educating your kids from a young age about the realities of cannabis use is important, which include the following:

• Stunting of emotional development in teens – regular use by teens stops/slows the normal process by which teens learn to emotionally react to normal life stressors. For example, if a teen uses regularly from age 12 to 17, she may then find herself trying to deal with life as a young adult having the emotional skills of a 12 year old ¹³.
• Ongoing cannabis use by teens negatively impacts school performance. Generally, students who use cannabis have much worse outcomes for education than those who do not use the drug ¹⁴ .
• There is a strong correlation between regular teen cannabis use and long-term mental health issues, including symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia ¹⁵ . Further, adolescents who use cannabis are at increased risk of developing depression and suicidal behaviour both during teen years and later in young adulthood ¹⁶ .
• Friendships with others based on drug use are generally superficial and lack any real intimacy.
• Teens who use cannabis or alcohol are at a much greater risk of developing long term drug or alcohol dependence as an adult. Due to differences in how these substances are absorbed and metabolized, youth can experience more pleasurable effects than adults, such as increased sociability and desire to engage in risky behaviours. This in turn puts youth at an increased risk of continuing to use these substances to deal with the stresses/strains of being a teenager, which can create on ongoing cycle of dependence.
• Cannabis is the leading cause of hospitalizations for youth in Canada. As of 2017-2018, 40% of all youth emergency room visits/hospitalizations were related to cannabis youth ¹⁷ .

Ongoing and active conversations about drugs and alcohol with your children/teens will significantly limit the chances of them developing a substance use disorder as either a teen or adult. While we may think our kids are not interested in much we have to say, many adults look back on life and give credit to their parents as to why they did not use substances as a teenager. From a young age, making it clear in a loving way you do not approve of substance use is a useful tool to preventing it. Many kids cite disappointing their parents as a big reason they do not use drugs.

Also, if you want to talk to your kids about difficult issues, it will be impossible to do unless you have built/work on building an ongoing communication about all issues in their life. Spending quality time with kids from a young age, asking questions about their lives, and showing interest in their activities will help you build a relationship of trust that lets you speak about difficult issues like substance abuse much more easily as they enter their teen years.

There is no set rule as to when you can start talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol, but parents should look for opportunities to start these discussions during pre-teen years (8-12). Here, you can look for opportunities to discuss these subjects, possibly when your child hears about them or sees drugs or alcohol in a TV show. For example, if you are watching a movie and someone is smoking (pot or nicotine) this can be used as a time to explain what these substances are and why they are dangerous. Similarly, if your young child sees an ad for alcohol on television, this can be used as an opportunity for you to explain why people drink, the difference between grown up responsible vs. irresponsible drinking, why it is bad for kids to drink and the problems people have when they consume too much of it.

In the Book “How to Raise a Drug Free Kid”, Joseph Califano, former US Secretary of Health, cites the following ten helpful rules of engagement for parents in helping to prevent drug abuse:

1. Be there: get involved in your children’s lives and activities.
2. Open the lines of communication and keep them wide open
3. Set a good example: actions are more persuasive than words.
4. Set rules and enforce them with consequences if your children fail to follow them.
5. Monitor your children’s whereabouts.
6. Maintain family rituals such as eating dinner together.
7. Incorporate religious and spiritual practices into family life.
8. Get Dad engaged – and keep him engaged.
9. Engage the larger community.
10. Get to know your kid’s friend and their parents ¹⁸.

The point made above is that helping our kids to avoid substance abuse is about much more than talking about drugs (although this is of course part of it). Children of parents who are engaged with their kids, involved in their lives, and who set appropriate boundaries for conduct are much less likely to be involved in substance abuse as teens and later as adults.

One of the main reasons kids use drugs is because they have not yet developed the coping strategies needed to deal with their emotions and stress. Teens’ brains are developing, meaning they are still learning/forming the patterns that help them to process emotions. Drugs like cannabis provide a quick and easy way for kids to deal with their stress and negative emotions. Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of them learning the necessary tools to deal with life when not taking the drug.

So how do we help our kids cope with the strain of life? What are some things we can do to give them the tools to deal with life without using drugs? While there is no guaranteed path to success for this for any parent or child, there are some things we can do as parents to help our kids develop healthier ways to deal with the issues that cause them to use drugs in the first place. Here are some suggestions on how to help your kids develop better coping strategies:

• Start and maintain a good bond of trust from an early age – Staying engaged with your child from infancy onward, spending lots of quality time together and showing interest in their activities are great ways to form a loving connection that can ward off substance abuse, and/or ensure you have an open line of communication about this issue as your child enters their teen years.
• Support and encourage activities that are structured, healthy and give a natural high – Remember that kids who are using drugs are looking for a “high”, or a way to get chemical reaction in their brain that says “feel better”. Encouraging and fostering better ways to get this natural high can be helpful, such as sports, music or a healthy hobby that your child is passionate about ¹⁹. Kids who are engaged in structured activities they are passionate about are less likely to use drugs.
• Teens with better coping skills and appropriate boundaries at home are less likely to use substances –  Promoting self-regulation (managing their own behaviours, emotions) from a young age is important to build resilience to the challenges of life. This can be done, in part, by creating certain household routines as a regular pattern of the youth’s life (chores, cleaning their room etc). Setting appropriate boundaries for behaviour generally and teaching your kids to respect themselves and others can be just as effective at preventing substance use as any ‘don’t do drugs’ talk at school.
• Stay connected with your kids emotionally, and be open and willing to discuss their good days and bad days, particularly when they are teenagers – Be open to discussing the normal daily problems they are facing and help them with strategies of how to deal with these problems. If you earn your child’s trust, it is more likely they will talk to you about their feelings (negative and positive), and it will also be easier for you to convey strong, clear boundaries about not using drugs or alcohol ²⁰ .
• If you see signs of poor mental health in your teen, get help – Talk to a family doctor, a counsellor (school or private). Youth with mental health issues are more likely to use drugs than those without these problems.
• Youth often follow the lead of parents and siblings with respect to how to manage their emotions and whether or not to treat emotions with substances – Setting a good example for your own kids in this regard is a great way to teach them coping strategies. Learning good emotional coping yourself (if needed) through counselling, self-help or therapy will likely have positive impacts on how your own children learn to deal with emotional trials and tribulations.
• Set consistent and clear rules on the use of drugs and alcohol by your kids, and what the consequences for punishment will be if they fail to abide by these rules –  Children who know in advance these clear sets of rules/consequences are less likely to use drugs than kids without such parental boundaries ²¹ .
• Get to know your kids’ friends and the parents of the friends –  Your kid is looking to friends and other adults for guidance on how to deal with life. The friends and adults she looks up to/wants to fit in with will play an important role in sending messages about how to deal with life’s problems. If the message your child is getting from either of these sources is a poor one, you may want to intervene and provide your child with the appropriate positive messaging.
• Do not adopt the parenting strategies of others just to make your child feel they fit in – You may often hear “but johnny is allowed to do this” etc. Remember the child of parents who allow poor coping strategies (such as substance abuse) is a child who is more likely to face problems for the remaining teen years and into adulthood ²² .

Addiction often has a genetic component. This means your kid can inherit family genes that make her more susceptible to addiction. Also, the type of substance does not always matter. Addiction is a disease that does not discriminate between substances.

In short, cannabis is addictive and if addiction runs in your family, this means your kids’ chances of being addicted to it are greater than others. For example, with respect to children/grandchildren of those addicted to drugs or alcohol, it is estimated that there is a 50% chance of a child inheriting the genes that contribute to the disease of addiction.

It is also important to note that even if the parent does not abuse substances, the genetic component can still be passed along to a child. For example, if your father was addicted to cannabis or alcohol, and you as a parent never took any drugs, you can still pass along the hereditary genes which render your children more susceptible to addiction.

If you come from a family with a history of addiction, this is something that should be discussed with your children the same as any other disease in your family tree. In other words, talking about a family history of addiction should be the same as talking about risks due to a family history of cancer or heart disease.

When you should discuss this? As early and as often as possible. There are lots of great opportunities to discuss this. You could be watching a show with your kids where someone is smoking pot or doing illicit drugs. This can be a good time to pressing pause on the show and speaking for a minute about your family history of addiction. Or if your kid brings up that some other people he knows are smoking pot, again, this is a good lead in to start a discussion about your family’s struggles with addiction.

Role-Models have a significant impact how teens view or use substances. Teenagers (like the rest of us) often become who they hang out with or who they look up to. For example, if a parent or sibling uses substances in a harmful manner, there is a much greater likelihood the child who observes this will use harmful substances. Children in such environments also are at greater risk of developing a substance abuse disorder as an adult ²³.

The same is true of teens who grow up in households where parents are OK with their kids’ using cannabis or alcohol to some degree. Many parents (with good intentions) feel that it is better if their child uses cannabis or drinks under their roof where they can keep an eye on them rather than out in public. This kind of parenting, while well meaning, can have devastating consequences in the long-term. Children who are taught it is normal or OK to use substances are at greater risk of using harmful substances and often go on to develop addiction/substance abuse disorder as an adult.

It is also important to remember that a teen’s social group is full of people who they see as role models. Kids (like the rest of us) have a drive to fit into the group and often look up to their friends. Fitting in can be the most important thing in the world in adolescence. If a teen is part of a group who is using cannabis or alcohol, it will be very, very hard for her to say no when confronted with the choice to use drugs. Saying “no” may be the equivalent to losing her friends ²⁴. Research has shown time and again that the main reason kids drink is to fit in with their peer group who are also using these substances.

If your child asks if you used drugs, there may be a reason for this question other than just innocent curiosity. This kind of question can be a sign that your child is considering drug use or has seen friends or friends’ parents take drugs or alcohol. Before you answer, it is important to try and gently determine why the question is being asked.

• What makes you ask son? Did you hear about me or someone’s parents smoking cannabis?

The answer you get may determine how you respond to the question. If you do have a history of using substances, there is no absolutely correct way of dealing with this question. Honesty is important with your kids as it is with any relationship. If asked this question, hopefully you can use your own experiences as way of teaching your teen what not to do.

If you did use substances, when you respond, if you want to discourage your child’s use, one suggestion will be to talk about the negative consequences of when you used substances:

• Drinking was a big part of the culture when I was young. I felt pressured and it usually made me sick the next day…one of my friends was killed by a drunk driver as a teen….”
• I smoked cannabis and I got really paranoid and felt afraid.
  When asked these kinds of questions, directing the conversation back to your teen is important – “I want to know about you, you are the person who is important now”.

Ultimately, if you want to discourage your teens from making the same mistakes you did, it will be important to tell them that what you did was a mistake and that you would not do it again if you had the chance to go back and make different choices. Teens are often looking for others, including you, to normalize something they want to do if they are uncertain as to whether they should do it themselves ²⁵.

If your child tells you that a friend is using cannabis, first, it is helpful for you to determine why you are being told this information. This can inform your response.

• Is your child concerned about the friend?
• Is your child testing the waters to see if you are OK with using cannabis?
• In telling you this information, your child is looking for a message/guidance from you on drug use – what will your message be?

How you react might inform your teen how you really feel about underage drinking, or how you view what it really means to be someone’s friend.

If you choose to tell the other child’s parents, you may be sending positive messages to your own teen (we care about your friend, you care about your friend, we care about teens using alcohol or drugs).

In such circumstances, it will also be normal for your teen to make you promise not to tell their friend’s parents. You can respond to that kind of request by telling them a good friend is someone who looks out for their friends when they make poor decisions and tries to protect them from themselves.

If you do face this scenario, it is a great opportunity to teach your kids how to react and get medical intervention for their friend if necessary. In some instances of extreme intoxication, a friend might be facing alcohol poisoning or a drug overdose. Kids may want not want to get help for fear of getting busted themselves. Explaining to your teen that these are real life or death scenarios can be important, and encouraging them to call 911 for medical attention or taking a friend to an emergency room might save their life.

When confronted with the scenario of a friend using substances, every parent will have to determine how to react based on the circumstances. If you choose to tell another child’s parents, the reaction may be positive or negative. Some parents might be grateful you shared this information, while others may be defensive or hostile. Denial is a big part of the entire culture around teen substance use and it can be hard to break through it.

• Teens often reference other role models who use cannabis to justify their actions in smoking cannabis. A parent may hear “Well so and so does it, and he is famous and successful”. Here, you can offer a reality check. There are lots of people addicted to substances who have financial success. But financial success or fame does not equal happiness. You can tell your child if you looked into that famous person’s family and personal relationships, and how they got along with others (or how they felt about themselves) the story would likely be different than the fantasy being presented in the media by their drug use ²⁶.
• When these kinds of stories come up, this is also a good opportunity to educate your kids about the multiple stories of drug use gone wrong by celebrities or others they/you may know in your own family/friend circle. In other words, you can pose the question to the teen (and to yourself) ‘is what you are thinking about that famous person actually true?’ ²⁷.

The truth about ongoing use of cannabis is that it has a number of potentially harmful effects including the following:

• Stunting of emotional development in teens – regular use by teens stops/slows the normal process by which teens learn to emotionally react to normal life stressors. For example, if a teen uses regularly from age 12 to 17, she may then find herself trying to deal with life as a young adult having the emotional skills of a 12 year old ²⁸.
• Ongoing cannabis use by teens negatively impacts school performance. Generally, students who use cannabis have much worse outcomes for education than those who do not use the drug.
• There is a strong correlation between regular teen cannabis use and long-term mental health issues, including symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia. Further, adolescents who use cannabis are at increased risk of developing depression and suicidal behaviour into young adulthood.
• Friendships with others based on drug use are generally superficial and lack any real intimacy.
• Teens who use cannabis or alcohol are at a much greater risk of developing long term drug or alcohol dependence as an adult. Due to differences in how these substances are absorbed and metabolized, youth can experience more pleasurable effects than adults, such as increased sociability and desire to engage in risky behaviours. This in turn puts youth at an increased risk of continuing to use these substances to deal with the stresses/strains of being a teenager, which can create on ongoing cycle of dependence.
• Cannabis is the leading cause of hospitalizations for youth in Canada. As of 2017-2018, 40% of all youth emergency room visits/hospitalizations were related to cannabis youth ²⁹.

If your child is hanging out with a group that drinks or smokes cannabis there is a very high chance he is also using these harmful substances. So what can you do?

Some practical tips:

• • Criticize the behaviour not the person – If one of your child’s friends (or your own kid) is using cannabis, it is important as parents for us to not harshly criticize the person (your teen or the friend) for using cannabis, but instead to show your issue is with the behaviour. Getting angry and calling the friend names (moron, stupid) for drinking/using drugs may just lead to the behaviour getting reinforced. Instead, focusing on why the behaviour is not tolerated or accepted helps kids see the behaviour as wrong, not themselves personally or other people as ‘bad’ for doing it ³⁰ .
  • Set clear limits on behaviour and who your child can spend time with – State you have a no drugs policy in the household, and that means you (the child) cannot hang out with anyone engaged in substance abuse.
  • Do not normalize the behaviour – If you state things like “I know every kid experiments”, while this may be well-meaning, it can send the message that it is OK to engage in substance use ³¹ .
  • Talk to the parent (s) of the other teen in the group you know is using cannabis. Not every parent will have the same values as you, but knowing the parents of your teen’s friends and having a relationship with them can go a long way towards knowing who your child’s friends are and what they are doing together. Further, the other child’s parents may not also be aware of their own child’s drug use and they may be just as concerned as you are if you inform them ³² .
  • If you come from a family with a history of addiction, this is a good opportunity to talk about this with your child. Talk about how her genes make her more susceptible to being addicted to drugs, and/or share stories about what drugs or alcohol have done to members of the family in the past/how it was negative for their lives.

If you are suspicious your child has been using cannabis, ask open ended questions to try and get to the bottom of your concerns. An open – ended question is one that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, the question requires the teen to give a more detailed answer:

• Your eyes were red and I smelled cannabis when you came home last night, can you tell me why your eyes were red and why I smelled cannabis when you came in the house last night?
• I found some rolling papers in your pocket when I was getting your clothes ready for the laundry, why would you need rolling papers, I’m curious?

If you confirm or definitely believe your child has been using cannabis, it will be important to directly discuss these concerns with you child.

Firstly, getting angry and/or calling them names will likely not help. This kind of criticism can often enables the poor behaviour further. The conversation you have should show both disapproval and concern at the same time:

“I love you and I am very concerned about what you doing yourself and your brain. Why are you doing this to yourself? What is bothering you enough for you to make this unhealthy choice?”

It will also be important for you to enforce consequences for the behaviour of underage cannabis use. Ideally, you will have discussed underage cannabis use in advance and noted it would not be acceptable.

“I am really unhappy you have made this poor choice and broken our rules. I am really concerned about you and I want to find out more about what is going on with you as we move forward here. But in the meantime, you are aware there are consequences for breaking our house rules. You will be grounded for a month/lose certain privileges (whatever you as a parent feel the most appropriate consequences are for your child)”.

If you do not have pre-established consequences, you can make them up on the spot and worry about the details later. The important thing will be to send the message (in a loving way) that you are a) concerned for her well-being and b) there are consequences for using cannabis.

Some other general tips/advice if you know your child is using cannabis: ³³

• It is usually best to wait until your child is sober to discuss the situation rationally and to set out the consequences. Trying to speak with your child while she is high likely will not work out.
• Take some time afterward to think about what is really going on with this incident. Was it a one time thing? Is this a symptom of a larger psychological problem? Was this just experimentation or you child hanging out with the group that reinforces and celebrates this kind of behaviour?
• Moving forward, watch for more signs of drug use.
• If you feel it is warranted, reach out and get help. Talk to a school counsellor, a private child therapist or see the various resources listed in our Get Help page for assistance with this issue in your area in BC.

The most obvious warning sign that your child is addicted to cannabis is if you know the use is fairly regular/ongoing.

However, there are other warning signs including the following:

• Change in friend groups – if your child is hanging out with friends less or changes friend groups to others you feel less happy about than the old group.
• Change in activities – if your child loses motivation in/stops participating in activities or sports they used to enjoy regularly.
• Change in emotional response/attitude – if your child shows less emotions than normal, is lethargic/tired, or seems generally less interested in life or activities than they were in the past.
• If your child is more easily agitated or reactive than they were in the past.
• Problems at school, including missing classes, lower grades, conflicts with other students ³⁴.

If you believe your child may be addicted to cannabis or any other drug, there are many resources/organizations in BC that can help. Please see our Get Help page and select your community or the community closest to you.

In addition to these resources, you can also consider the following:

• Children using cannabis is often a sign of an underlying mental health issue that is not being addressed. Teens use cannabis for any number of reasons, because of past trauma, to numb feelings of depression or anxiety, or because it eases a sense of social isolation. Discussing this with your child’s family doctor, school counsellor and/or engaging the services of a youth counsellor may be helpful.
• If you believe your child is dependent on cannabis, it will be appropriate for you to take care of yourself/resource yourself. Attending Nar-Anon meetings (https://naranonbc.com/ )can be a great way to learn skills to deal with a child’s addiction/dependence. Nar-Anon is an organization that supports people whose lives have been impacted by the drug use of a family member. At these meetings, you can find often find other parents who are struggling with the same issues and you can learn valuable skills to help you deal with this issue.

Some families believe that allowing their teens to use cannabis in moderation at home will lead to more responsible choices. While this can be a well-meaning strategy, it does not usually lead to good habits. Research shows that children who are permitted to use drugs or alcohol and/or who are exposed to parents who regularly drink/do drugs have an increased likelihood of developing a substance use disorder.

It is also important to remember that during adolescence, teens’ brains are developing coping strategies to deal with the strains and trials of life. Teens often use cannabis to escape these stresses. By permitting teens to use this drug, the message that may be sent (unintentionally) is this: you, my teen, cannot handle the stress of life, so using drugs is an OK way of dealing with your problems.

Research shows that more effective/emotional coping strategies that teens have, the less likely they are to develop a substance abuse disorder. Conversely, kids with less robust coping strategies are at increased risk of drinking, using drugs and developing dependence on substances.